T.O.P, “Being Big Bang’s big brother, it was burdensome”

Posted June 24, 2010 by

Part 7 of T.O.P’s Star Diary Series with AsiaE. Other parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

At first, it was hard to get along with the other members. It felt like I suddenly had little brothers to take care of after living freely by myself, and I didn’t like how their eyes were filled with this expectation of having their big brother become a role model for them. But the more I got to know them, I learned a lot from my little brothers’ dignified images that rather made me feel like the youngest.

Each member of Big Bang is passionate. They work hard in order to show new sides of themselves. But they don’t want to become people who work like idiots. They don’t even want to hear that they are people who put forth a lot of effort. They want to show themselves in completion. They don’t want to show themselves working hard behind the scenes. They want to show the audience perfection above the water, not how hard they are kicking below the surface.

Currently, Big Bang is at an important crossroads. Honestly all the members are gritting their teeth. It’s because the public’s expectations of, ‘I wonder what Big Bang will show us this time,’ is getting higher. That kind of expectation is both a burden and a source of strength. These days I’ve been thinking positive thoughts like, ‘it’s going to be good.’ I became this way after meeting my big brothers from Into the Gunfire. I spend each day in gratefulness.

I’m trying not to get into a slump. I try not to think thoughts like, ‘I’m not doing so well right now’ at all. Rather than looking forward to tomorrow or the next day, I look to the next year. I want to be someone who knows how to be thankful with each blessing and is faithful to the work I’m given.

Source: Asiae
Translation by seungie@tumblr